Days 28 & 29

Yesterday was day 28: the last rest day and therefore the official end of phase one! Jacob and I spent the day (and I mean the entire day- 15 hours!) in New York City, which made sticking to our diet a little tricky... We had a good breakfast of egg whites, veggies and turkey bacon before getting on the bus for the city. I honestly didn't do too bad eating while we were out, though! My vice was Starbucks. I love red cups! Ahhh. But I got a skinny peppermint mocha and didn't even finish it, so that isn't too bad. Other than that, I had shrimp and veggies at Bubba Gump's, turkey sausage egg white flatbread at Dunkins, some dried fruit and soy nuts that I packed and nonfat frozen yogurt with fruit. See? Not bad :] I was proud of myself for sticking to my diet so well during our outing. It wasn't easy (so many goodies all over the city!!) but I toughed it out.

Today was the first day of phase two. Oh boy. I was thrilled to eat TWO carbs today!!! :D I had oatmeal for breakfast. I was so happy to eat oatmeal and still have a carb left for later in the day. And yes, I realize that I sound completely pathetic saying that but whatever. I missed my morning oatmeal. Jacob and I then decided to buy whole wheat pizza dough and make a veggie pizza for lunch. Technically, I don't think pizza dough is in the p90x nutrition booklet, but we figured it was wheat and we only ate a little (1/4 of the package each- thin crust style). We counted the dough as a carb, the sauce and veggies as a veggie (duh) and the cheese as a dairy... it was a pretty big meal, but tasty and worth it! I was also beyond excited to eat popcorn today!! I love popcorn! It used to be my go-to munchie before p90x so I was missing it quite a bit. Oh, and we get to have soft pretzels now. Can you say win?! I am very sad to say goodbye to my nonfat frozen yogurt and mini rice cakes, though :[ I enjoyed those a lot. And I'm not too happy to lose a protein... but I think it'll be worth it for an extra carb. Now to get used to eating in this phase...

As far as the workout, tonight honestly beat me up hardcore. Chest, shoulders and triceps is a nasty workout!! I struggled through it... And had a small breakdown after it was over. I just lack upper body strength so much that it really makes me angry. I push and I try my hardest, but I get so discouraged that I'm using 3 or 5 pound weights and getting "the burn". I know the goal is to find that burn but seriously Alayna, THREE pounds?!! I'm pathetic and weak. Oh and one handed pushups?? Yeah, right. Even on my knees I can barely bend my arm... How about clap pushups? Right. I think I did five. And by that I mean I barely struggled through being able to do five from my knees. Yeah. Great. I feel so pathetic. I am so pathetic. And ab ripper x. Lovely ab ripper x. Still can't get through the whole thing! Yep. I need to take breaks during some of the moves. Why? Because I'm pathetic, remember? It's true. Ughhh. In case it isn't blatantly obvious, I'm very discouraged tonight. Maybe I've hit my plateau. I'm not sure. I just hate my stupid weak body that can't do everything I want it to do. I want to be stronger. I want to be able to do upper body work without having to modify moves. I want to do all of the ab ripper without resting a couple reps. I just want to be better. And I know I'm doing p90x to get better. I understand that I'm my own biggest critic. I know that it's great I'm at least doing it, staying committed and trying to force my body to change. I know all of this. But it doesn't translate into a difference in my capabilities. It's a frustrating day for me. I'm hating p90x right now to be completely honest. I won't quit. I refuse to quit. I just wish the changes would come quicker. Ugh. Slow and steady though, right? :/ Stupid body.

Tomorrow is plyometrics. That workout is also a killer but at least I know I can do it! It might make me want to die but I'll get through it and feel awesome afterwards. Plyo, I'm gonna bring it.